Night And Day -- Cory/Shawn

[A Moment In Subtext]

Boy Meets World
Night And Day
By. A Moment In Subtext

Sometimes, Cory thinks that there are at least two Shawns. There's the Shawn he see's during the day, slacking off at school, pulling pranks, and attracting girls with a shake of his head. That's the one Cory dubs Daytime-Shawn. Daytime-Shawn is Cory's best friend, and while he pretends to be strong, Cory knows that he's much more insecure than he'll ever admit. Daytime-Shawn is full of scemes and remarks, and he and Cory tell each other everything.
But then there's the Shawn who sneaks through Cory's window at night, and spoons up behind him, holding him as close as its possible to hold someone and still be seperate people. Nighttime-Shawn always shows up when Cory is too tired to think, but not tired enough to sleep, and he's gone in the morning before Cory wakes up, leaving no trace he had even been there. Nighttime-Shawn never says a word, but sometimes Cory thinks he cries, and when he does Cory stills and lets him.
No matter what's going on with Daytime-Shawn, Nighttime-Shawn is always there, because the one night that he wasn't neither of them slept. Cory wonders if its strange that he can't sleep without feeling the rythmic beat of Shawns heard on his back, and decides it isn't, because it feels normal.
Cory thinks that Eric probably know,s because how could they share a room for all those years without him knowing? Even Eric isn't that stupid. But Eric's never said anything about it, and Cory isn't sure if he should be greteful or not. Thinking about it, Cory decides that Morgan probably knows as well, what with all the looks she keeps giving them. How she would know Cory doesn't know, ro care, as long as she doesn't say anyting.
Sometimes, Cory even thinks that there might be two of him, as well, because he isn't the same during the day as he is at night. When he see's Shawn during the day, he doesn't feel the urge to fub against him a purr like a contented kitten. At least, he doesn't think he does, but maybe he's just fooling himself, because at night, with Shawn's skin warm against his back, and Shawn's breathing in his ear, he has to swallow the impulse and it doesn't feel as if he's swallowing a sound, it feels as if he's swallowing his heart.
Cory's not sure he wants to know what that means, but he already does. He just can't admit it, even to himself, because that could mean that he'd lose Topanga, and he's never imagined a futer here he wan't with Topanga. But he'd never imaginved a futer where he wasn't with Shawn too, and he didn't want to imagine a futer where he had to choose between them, because he isn't sure which one he'd choose. Or maybe he is, but doesn't want to be. He wants to believe that he'd choose Topanga, but he's pretty sure he wouldn't because he's never shared a bed with Topanga, and he wonders what that says about their relationship.
Sometimes, when he's in a masochistic mood, Cory wonders what Topanga would say if she could see him at night with Shawn, and if she would be upset, or angry. He keeps telling himself that she would probably slap him, and storm off, and maybe he'd never see her again. Or that she would tell him that he had to choose, and he'd go with her and be miserable for the rest of his life. Except, he doesn't really think she would, because, when he stops to think about it, Topanga has knows longer than he has.