ABOFAL -- Tris & Maxie: Prelude to Review

[A Moment In Subtext]

A Bit of Fry & Laurie
A Bit of Tris & Maxie: Prelude to Review
By. Cecilia Evans

*Tris and Maxie awake tied to chairs in the middle of an oddly lit room*
Tris: Where are we?
Maxie: Tris, is that you?
Tris: Maxie! Oh, thank god!
Maxie: Might want to save your thanks. Any clue why we're tied up?
Tris: We-el. . .
Maxie: And if you say one word about S&M, I'll kill you.
Tris: Kinky.
Maxie: I hate you.
Tris: *eyeroll* Whatev. Seriously, where are we?
Min: *creepy-voice* You're in the waiting room.
Maxie: Min!
Min: That's right. Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?
Tris: Um. . .
Min: Trespassing, stalking, fangirling. . .
Maxie: Okay, wait. Trespassing, yeah, sure. Stalking. . .erm, okay, yeah. But fangirling? Come on, Min, we'd never-
Min: I've seen the security tapes. Honestly. Do you two even have lives?
Maxie: Um. . .
Tris: Er. . .not. . .really. . .
Min: You're pathetic. If you're going to fangirl - and someone, please, tell me when that became a verb - at least do it right. The things you ignored, skipped over, and just plain forgot. . .I'm ashamed to be related to either of you.
Both: Sorry, Min.
Min: *sigh* You've been gound guilty by-
Maxie: You had a trial while we were in squee-induced coma's?
Tris: That's not fair!
Min: Tough. Next time, don't get caught.
Tris: It's not like we planned -!
Min: Shut up, Tris! God, you're so annoying. I wish capit- er. . .anyway. We decided that since we couldn't burn you at the stake or something equally deserved, we'd have to do the next best thing. Are you ready?
Maxie: Not really, no.
Min: Too bad. It's been decided that you will be forced to rewatch every episode-
Tris: That doesn't sound so bad.
Min: Listen. And write comprehensive and intelligent episode reviews.
Maxie: That's cruel and unusual punishment!
Min: That was the milder of two options.
Tris: What was the other?
Min: You really don't want to know. Now, since I don't trust either one of you at all, I'm going to sit here and supervise.
Tris: But Mi-in!
Min: I said shut up! And put a little research into it this time, huh? I think I actually lost IQ points just listening to you! You! *points at Maxie* Quit being such a prude. And you! *points at Tris* I swear to go, it you utter the phrase "I know!" one more time in that high pitched voice of yours, I'm going to take this pop bottle and shove it so far up your-!
Riza: *claps hands over Min's mouth* Sorry, we're experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait. Ow! Don't bite, Min! *drags Min offscreen* We'll be right back.
*Tris and Maxie exchange a glance*
Maxie: We're just. . .we're doomed, aren't we?
Tris: Completely.