Five Times The Doctor Kissed Rose. . . -- 10/Rose

[A Moment In Subtext]

Doctor Who
Five Times The Doctor Kissed Rose (And One He Didn't)
By. A Moment In Subtext

I.

The first time the Doctor kisses Rose, she has the time vortex in her head.
To say that the Doctor is surprised would be an understatement (though whether he's surprised that she came back or surprised at the vortex, he can't say). He begs her to let it go, his eyes wide, while she refuses and uses the vortext to do what he couldn't. Finally, finally, she falters, and he does the only thing he can think of to do.
It can't really be called a proper kiss, this, just pressure, his mouth and hers and the vortex flowing between them, the golden glow ebbing out of her skin.
The Kiss of Life may be cliched, but it doesn't really surprise him that its the only appropriate term (because he's not just kissing her alive, he's also saying goodbye, and thats a cliche he doesn't want to think about).


II.

The second time the Doctor kisses Rose, it isn't his fault.
Really, it isn't. When a pretty (beautiful, brilliant, he corrects) girl sticks her tongue down your throat (which should be the first clue that she isn't his Rose, since he'd told her he didn't have tonsils and there's no way she'd attempt to remove them like this), the first instinct is not to pull away.
It takes his mind a moment to process what's happening (he blames it on his regeneration, but knows its a lie), and the that in itself is surprising enough to justify the time it takes him to respond.
But, for just a second, he's standing in the middle of a crisis, kissing Rose while Cassandra kisses him, and he's not disappointed when he learns that (really, he's not). Just a bit embarrassed.


III.

The third time the Doctor kisses Rose, he thinks she's asleep.
They've just escaped to the Tardis after three days of running from the huge beast trying to eat them, and they've existed for so long on only wit and adrenaline that he's almost afraid she's forgotten how to sleep.
Then he tells her that its alright, they're safe, and she should really get some sleep if she wants to go to the market on Aruva Kappa with him tomorrow, and she smiles dazzelingly at him and says "Alright, Doctor," and falls asleep on his shoulder.
He stands there for a moment, partly confused and partly amused (confused-amused, he thinks gleefurlly, and grins at the silly-sounding-ness of it), and he looks at her still and peaceful face and is half-tempted to call this domenstic. But them the Tardis shakes, and he is reminded of the still-too-real danger outside.
As carefully as he can, he gathers her up into his arms and carries her to her room (tuckes her in, too, and really, that, at least, is domestic). He smooths her hairi down and just watches her form a moment. Watches the slow rise and fall of her chest, the slight fluttering of her eyelashes, the stead pulse-beat in her temples.
He hesitates, then gives in to temptation and leans over to press his lips against hers. Then he's off, running to pilot the Tardis away - running so quickly he doesn't notice her sleepy smile broaded.


IV.

The fourth time the Doctor kisses Rose, he blames it on the aliens.
Its not technically their fault (even though it sort of is), and not really his fault (except its that, too), its just bad luck that he lands the Tardis in the middle of their fertility-ritual-mass-marriage-whatever-it-is-ceremony.
Really, he thinks, it would be terribly rude (not to mention stupid and dangerous, and while he's rather used to those he's decided to take a break this time) to refuse to participate, so they don't.
There's singing, and dancing (he notices that Rose looks absolutely, positively stunning in their ceremonial robes), and plenty of drinking, and then there are ritual vows and a mandatory kiss. Its sloppy [but only because they're outside, and its dark, and they've been drinking,] but Rose is warm and inviting, and he enjoys himself thouroughly, even if he'll never admit it.
They laugh about it the next day, because its just the kind of stupid thing he'd do, getting drunk and ending up hitched to his companion.
He decides not to tell her that alcohol doesn't affect him.


V.

The fifth time the Doctor kisses Rose, they've actually, really, almost died.
Its been way, way too close for even his comfort [they really almost lost the planet, this time] and he does the only thing that pops into his mind. He grabs the first living, breathing human he sees (and it would be Rose, of course), and snogs the hell out of her.
Its harsh, and desperate, and I-can't-believe-we're-not-dead (and maybe a little bit I-love-you-too-much-to-let-you-die-like-that), and for a moment he feels like he's on fire.
Then he's pulling away from her and into the crowd. There's work to be done, rebuilding and all that, and so what if he's never stuck around for this part before? Now's as good a time as any to start.
The fact that the work takes so long that they never get around to discussing the kiss is just coincidence, of course.


VI.

The day the Doctor says goodbye to Rose, all he wants to do is kiss her.
He wants to hold her to his chest so tightly they can't breath, wants to pet her hair until she yells at him for treating her like a child, [wants to hold her hand so tightly he breaks all the bones, wants to brush away her tears with his thumbs], but he can't.
She's smiling, and laughing, and telling him she's alright, she's moving on, but the tears on her face betray that she's lying (the only part of it thats true is that she loves him).
He knows that as soon as she's gone, he's going to go out and do something terrible (a horrible, monsterous thing), and he can't help it because he needs her to stop him.
He needs to hold on to her and never let go, wants to kiss her so badly he can almost taste it (like strawberries, his memories helpfully supply).
He can't, of course, because she's on a beach in Norway in one universe, and he's in the middle of a dying sun in another.
All he can do is tell her that he loves her as much as she loves him, except he doesn't even have time to do that.
Later, he realizes that it doesn't matter, she already knows.