On The Mating Habits Of Cybermen -- Torchwood

[A Moment In Subtext]

Torchwood
On The Mating Habits Of Cybermen
By. A Moment In Subtext

It was a fairly normal day at Torchwood. By "fairly normal," of course, I mean that everyone (with the exception of Ianto, and possibly Gwen) was attempting to avoid any form of work in the absense of hostile alien threat.
"Hey," Jack asked out of the blue, "Do you suppose the Cybermen can orgasm?"
Startled yeps of "What?!" echoed through the Hub.
"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Jack asked, his voice laced with amusement.
"No, no," Tosh assured him quickly. "We heard you just fine, Jack."
"Why would you. . ." Gwen started to ask.
"Well, its not like they've got genitals, or at least, nothing recognizable as such, and they don't wear clothes so it'd be pretty obvious if they did."
"Its entirely possible that they have hidden genitalia that only pop out - for lack of a better term - when needed."
"So you think they can orgasm?"
"Theoretically-"
"Yes or no, Owen."
"Yes."
"What about you, Ianto? What do you think?"
"Lisa could, sir. Though I don't know if the same holds true for fully cyberized beings."
"Cyberized?" Jack asked, arching an eyebrow.
"I don't think they can, Jack. They're just human brains in a metal shell."
"I've met brains that can orgasm."
"You've-"
"Nevermind." Tosh interrupted. "Besides which, they do that whole 'erasing emotion' thing, and orgasm is at least partly emotional."
"They're all connected by a slight telepathic field, thats how they communicate." Jack said slowly. "So if we make one Cyberman orgasm, they'll all keel over into emotional overload?"
"Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."
"You can't use orgasm as a weapon!" Owen said firmly.
Jack (whose mind had absolutely, positively not been going there) nodded innocently. "I'm not thinking a thing."
Owen snorted in disbelief.
"What do you think, Gwen?"
"Why are we even discussing this?"
Jack shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "Boredom?"
"Finished my crossword." Tosh offered.
"Avoiding paperwork."
"The tea's not done yet."
Gwen stared around the room. "My god, you're all insane."
"Wait for it." Toshiko advised quietly, patting Gwens arm.
"Wait for wha-?" Gwen started to ask in confusion.
Jack straightened quickly enough to make the chair move. "So what about the Weevils?"

Authors Notes:
I have never actually seen Torchwood. All my knowledge of it comes from reading guides and fanfic, so if I've got something horribly wrong, please tell me? Also, this isn't technically slash, but its Jack, so I can't put it in het.